Camryn’s doctor recommended in our family counseling session that we all start keeping a journal.
I’m not really sure why, but Dr. Conrin said it may help me figure some things out and help with emotions that I may not know how to handle. What the heck, what can it hurt right?
So, even though the family is going through some major drama right now, is it wrong of me to not really want to write about Camryn? I mean the whole family is wrapped up in what’s going on with her. I may write a bit about Cam, but if this journal is supposed to be for me…I don’t think she needs to be the focus. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and she’s going through something major right now, but it’s her stuff, not mine. Right?
After our most recent family counseling session with Dr. Conrin, (we have two a week, one with Cam and one with just me, Mom and Dad) I met Teagan at the park.
She’s been great through this. It reminds me of when her Mom & Dad were divorcing last year. We met almost every day then too. She’s such a great friend.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if there were between us than just friends. If I hold her hand, or hug her I start to think about how it would be if she were my girlfriend.
But I don’t know, Girlfriend seems like such a big step. Not that I have a ton of girls knocking down my door to date, but it just really limits any other options to take that step. Plus, she probably doesn’t seem to want to date anyway. The way she acts around me is almost like she would with a brother.
We’re best friends. But other than the occasional hug or hand holding, She’s never really tried to make any moves or anything that would indicate she wanted more.
That band Teagan likes is coming into town next month. I should see if she wants to go. I could pay for the tickets and everything. My weekend landscaping job is working out pretty well and I could afford to pay. Perhaps like a trial date for us and see what happens. I can laugh it off as a friends thing if it gets weird.
Ah well, like I said, I don’t know I’m ready to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship anyway, we’re friends, we have fun together.
What more could I ask for?
I think I’m going to go visit Camryn a bit more often. Uncle Dean has been to see her and he’s mentioned to Dad just how much it cheered Cam up that he dropped by. Maybe I’ll go in and beat her at chess a time or two. Maybe I’ll let her win one though, that could really cheer her up.
School’s kinda sucked lately. I didn’t feel like running all the laps during gym, we were doing a fitness eval, but I ducked out behind the bleachers and fell asleep. Mr. Hart wasn’t happy about that when he caught me. He sent a slip home for my parents to sign.
I may just sign it and return it, but I’d hate for it to be brought up at P/T conferences. I’ll talk to Teagan about it. I know I shouldn’t sign it, but I just don’t feel like adding to the stress load for Mom and Dad right now. With Cam in the clinic, they have so much going on what with taking care of Carter and everything else with their jobs etc, I just don’t want to add Mr. Hart’s power trip on top of it all for them. I get plenty of exercise with my landscaping job over the weekends.
Anyway, I should probably get some homework done. Caleb Delaney out. (Yeah, that was dumb…)
The End G02: 07